Hello! My name is Dani, and I also go by “Rufio” in certain spaces. I use mostly he/him pronouns, but they/them is also fine! I am 30 years old and currently reside in SoCal. This website serves as a sort of “home base” for me to post pieces of writing, little life updates, and links to external content such as work published on other websites, and links to my online bakery!
My bakery is called “CookieTiam”, which is a name that comes from “kopi tiam”, or “coffee shop” in Singapore. My mother’s family is from Singapore and I am quite close to that part of my family and culture. I mostly focus on cookies, and try to incorporate singaporean and other southeast asian flavors since I have found them a bit of a rarity here in the states, and love to use the opportunity to introduce folks to the flavors I grew up with! I am currently vending at small events, and am able to fulfill and ship orders online, so feel free to check us out and place an order at CookieTiam.com!
Besides the bakery, I also provide hospice care to chronically ill and disabled dogs, and hope to expand that work to other species when I have the space. I have been working towards building up a small farm that will double as a sanctuary for the animals I care for. Hospice work has been incredibly fulfilling for me, and has become a very important part of my life.
I am disabled and chronically ill myself, which I feel has enabled me to be a better caregiver to the animals that come into my life. My illness, which is a medically complex and severe form of “Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome”, is considered life-limiting at this point, but I have defied some expectations of my lifespan thus far, so we will see how far I can take this! I am also autistic, and manage various emotional struggles such as trauma, eating disorders, dissociative disorders, and psychosis, all of which can be exacerbated by the physical things I go through. I feel my condition has the silver lining of letting me experience a higher level of empathy for the animals I care for, and gives me a stronger knowledge of their medical care and conditions. Being able to channel my struggles into something that can help others feels important and good to me, and I want to keep providing hospice care for as long as I can.
Over the last couple years, I have been working on various sets of skills to be able to be more self-sufficient. I deeply desire a world where everyone, especially those who are disabled or chronically ill, or have other marginalized struggles, can rely and take care of one another. However, I have had a very difficult time cultivating that world for myself, and my health has created a sense of urgency in being able to care for myself as best I can. It brings me a sense of safety, and has been a regulating force, for my sensory issues, executive function, emotional processing, physical strength building, and my overall well-being. I am at the early stages of learning these skills, and to be honest, am not particularly good at them, but regardless, it has been a fun journey thus far and very worth the blood, sweat, and tears! It has helped me build an enormous sense of confidence not necessarily in skill, but my ability to learn and muddle through despite failures, something I have sorely needed after many years of that part of myself withering away.
I want to be able to share the things I go through and what I learn from them, since reading and listening to others’ stories has been helpful for me. Please note that all my content comes from my own lived experiences, and are not a reflection on what I believe others must do or be. My own stories, experiences, and things I have learned and will learn still, are deeply personal, and I am always learning, always changing, and want to be able to share those changes and processes with those who would like to see them.
-Dani
Dani Shapira 